I am a healer.

And on the importance of connecting to our purpose. Read to the end for some exciting news.❤️

I have to admit, I've been having a bit of an identity crisis. If you've been reading my Substack here for a little bit I'm sure you've picked up on it.

Yes, I've labeled it a midlife crisis, but I think it's deeper than that.

After my second child and shifts in our family, I've taken in large part a step away from my private practice, which has been a big part of who I am and what I worked towards.

It has been an absolute privilege and honor, of course, to be able to make the conscious decision to stay home with my children and be a stay at home mom with a little bit of working apart from the home Mom on the side.

And it has also turned my sense of self completely upside down .

I've kept my foot in the door with my writing , trainings and my professional Instagram presence as well as maintaining some clients .

But the majority of my focus is child rearing.  Which I devote myself to with the same intesity, analysis and focus I would my clients. Not saying that is good! But if you are a therapist and a Mom you know it is kind of a special hell to know allllllll the things and tools and insight and patterns and diagnoses and still very much butt up against on the daily that you  you are in fact just a human raising human children and not a therapy robot. 😂

So a question I struggle with, with these shifts, is when I don't have the good little therapist title attached to the majority of my being …who am I?!

How do I derive meaning?

What other measures of being "good" do I have when I am not being valued (or paid🙃) for being a helper .

Now, that is a whole other Substack  to unpack the correlation I make between being a good worthy person, worthy of value,  when helping others and being compensated. Thete’s a whole psychology of money and analysis to be done here.

For now,   I'm sure I'm not the only person that feels that way. That derives worthiness from their professional titles and would question who they are when that part of their life is  put on the back burner. Whether by choice or privilege.

If you're wondering where I'm going with this, so am I and welcome to my psyche😂… but I'm going to share some insight that I had recently in my therapy session because that is really what inspired this all.

Yes, I'll say it over and over, therapists go to therapy. It's part of our growth and awareness and balance and checks and also our humanity.

Major shout out and love to my own therapist who's been with me through all phases of life, helping me get through it all .

She said to me four simple words that had so much emotional impact.

You are a healer.

You are healing and helping out in the world.

You are needed.

Now I might be taking some personal liberty and changing the phrase, but that's the essential gist that I took away from it.

Because she's right, I'm a healer . Probably always have been ?!

I'm a healer in my own home on a daily basis whether it feels like it or not.

A healing voice out in the world for people that need it.

And I am not tooting my horn in a narcissistic way but I'm just acknowledging that I am likely living out my life purpose organically and not realizing it because what a weird thing to acknowledge and even notice without someone pointing it out !

Which is kind of why I am writing this, to inspire you to look out how you might be living put your life purpose without realizing it.

My work, is acknowledging that life purpose while also letting go of the shame that I feel by not doing more tangible work that I can see and feel and be compensated for out in the world and in my home.

The real work is holding on to all of the separate titles that I hold without clinging to them . Yes very buddhist I know.

And yes, I still think my most important title is Mom. Doesn't mean that it's easiest title. In fact I think being a therapist was easier.😂

Maybe the therapist Me has tapped into the healer part of me and perhaps all these different parts of myself are being integrated in the moment in the present for what the needs are right now.

If I wear the titles of Mom, healer and helper for the rest of my life I'd be honored.

I would be living my truth and that is enough.

Because the truth is , whether I'm sitting in a therapy office or not, I am still a therapist through and through.

And as I struggle like every other mom and woman right now to integrate all these different parts of my identity, I'm reminded of why I'm so passionate about helping Moms.

Helping them navigate the messiness of motherhood , helping them access their strengths, their humanity and most importantly to reduce shame.

To heal the voice that says you're not good enough or doing enough.

To attach you to your life path and journey, whatever that looks like.

So here I am, owning my life path. I am a healer. Regardless of the capacities in which I do the healing or the titles or rewards attached to it.

So for all my parents reading this ....guess what?! You are a healer too. It is not an easy time to be a parent.  Despite what social media might present, this is an incredibly complex time with a very unique generation of kids that we get to shepherd through the world.

I just feel it in my bones that our generation of parents are doing the best that we can to navigate this.

But I also know that we are more stressed out than ever! With more intentional and hands on  parenting , with keeping up with the pace, cost and demands of life , I know most of us are doing our best to keep our heads above water.

I see you and I feel you .

With that being said, I am excited to share that I will be starting a virtual support group for Moms in the next coming months. A place to vent, share commiserate, maybe learn some new tools and insight and connect!

If you are in California and if you are interested or know anyone that's interested feel free to email me!

Because regardless of your experience, you are so much more valuable than whatever titles you attach to yourself and you deserve for that part of you to be connected .

Sending hugs.❤️